


blessed be the boys time can't capture

by Delenaley



Series: stevebucky drabbles [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Captain America: The First Avenger Compliant, Lee posts Old Trash from Docs, M/M, basically steve's thoughts before he froze for 60+ years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 08:11:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13654995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delenaley/pseuds/Delenaley
Summary: When Peggy’s comforting voice had turned into static, the cold creeps in.Steve finds himself eighteen again.





	blessed be the boys time can't capture

**Author's Note:**

> i haven't uploaded any actual works in more or less 3 years. but i did dug up old docs files and found my 2015 stevebucky drabbles. i figured that if anything is going to encourage me to post again, it's this. so ta-da! 
> 
> pardon my grammar, english is not my native language. title is from fall out boy's [the kids aren't alright](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR7U7_cKJw4)

When Peggy’s comforting voice had turned into static, the cold creeps in. 

Steve finds himself eighteen again.

His mother was no longer for this world and he found it cruel, that the world kept on turning. He hadn’t cried, but Bucky did. Buck had cried his heart out like she was his own mother that he was losing. And Steve’s so, _so_ grateful for him. 

But he remembers picking fights on purpose for the next week, desperate to let out his anger and craving to get hurt so that the fire in him will finally burn out. 

He had been hoping for Bucky to get angry, to raise his voice so they’d continue over to a screaming match and end in soft apologies as they climb to bed next to each other, the same way they always do. 

But that didn’t happen.

Steve was the one who had raised his voice instead. And Bucky had been quiet, _too_ quiet. He only stared at Steve with an all too familiar gaze, an all too familiar gesture of fingers pinching his nose that Steve knew he never saw Bucky actually did. It dawned on him quickly that Bucky learned that the same way Steve had—without realizing—adopted George Barnes’ signature way of speaking whenever he’s being serious at Bucky; Bucky had unconsciously imitated Sarah. 

Steve’s wants to reach out, but didn’t.

When Bucky finally speaks, it sounded like a challenge. 

“It’s going to be a cold day in hell, before I’d let anything separate us.”

That night, Steve saw in his eyes the look of a man who would be destroyed if Steve was gone. So he prayed the next morning. And the next, and the next—and so on. Prayed for God to keep him on this earth a little longer because now he finally realizes that maybe he has a purpose after all, and what else could it be other than staying alive for the oldest Barnes boy.

Now, as he waits for the cold to engulf him, he came to another realization. Bucky has always been brave, but his best was to anchor himself to a dying man, whose bones rattled and lungs never seem to function well enough; to need Steve as much as Steve needs him. 

Bucky’s gone—down, down, down. Steve’s in his own personal hell and he thinks, what a cold day indeed. 

Steve closes his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/layverse) and [twitter](https://www.twitter.com/layverse%20rel=)!


End file.
